The comments 'How come you are thinner?' Or 'You look like you gained weight?' Are used as one of the pleasantries in a conversation or form of our attention to others. But is it true that this is a form of attention? Or maybe we're doing body shaming?
Body shaming is the behavior of bad mouthing other people's appearance, or comparing one's physical condition with others. Not only from others, we can also get body shaming treatment from ourselves, that is when we give a negative stamp or comment to our physical appearance.
Impact of Body Shaming
Body shaming will certainly cause unpleasant feelings to the victim. When treated with body shaming, the victim will feel ashamed of his body condition and feel that his body is ugly and needs to be repaired.
For example, if the victim feels her body is fat, she will use a variety of methods to lose weight, from holding back eating, spewing food that has been eaten, or using laxatives. This condition includes mental disorders that require further treatment from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Not only does it affect the victims, body shaming actions can also affect the perpetrators. When criticizing the appearance of others, the offender feels better than the victim and this can backfire for him.
When someone assesses the body of other people fat, he will feel himself slim and do not need to maintain weight, so he unconsciously becomes more vulnerable to weight gain. Or conversely, he is very worried that he will get fat and turn around to be told by people, so that he will undergo an unhealthy excessive diet.
Tips for Dealing with Body Shaming Treatment
For some people, commenting on the appearance of a colleague or other person is a natural thing, without any intention. However, being targeted by these comments is indeed not pleasant. Here are some ways to reduce feelings of shame, after receiving body shaming treatment:
1. Practicing to be grateful for your own condition
There is always something in us that we should be thankful for, such as high thinking power and creativity, a pleasant personal disposition, talent in a particular field, or health that enables us to live a productive life.
By focusing on the positive things in us, gratitude will grow, so we can accept and love ourselves.
2. Recognizing and accepting deficiencies in yourself
Thin body, dark skin, or curly hair is not something negative. So stop making these things create a negative impression within yourself (inner bully), because it will make you so insecure due to something that is actually not important.
If indeed these things can be fixed, then do something to fix it. Make negative feelings as a motivational trigger. But if it can't be fixed, learn to accept it as part of yourself. Develop other potential that can cover your weaknesses.
3. Create an inner supporter to fight the inner bully
Embed words that are reinforcing for yourself, for example 'I'm beautiful' or 'I'm sexy'. The more often these words are repeated, the more you will trust them. That way, you will not care about the body shaming treatment that you receive from others for your physical condition.
Remember, what you think about yourself is more important than what others think about you. Don't let other people's opinions about one small thing in your body paralyze your great potential.
4. Change the mindset towards yourself
If someone believes his body shape or physical condition is bad, then information that says otherwise will not be processed by the brain. Therefore, first change your mindset and opinion of yourself.
The more confident you are that you are bad, the easier the body shaming action to have a negative impact on you, and the more difficult you will receive praise or positive words from others.
5. Be selective about messages on social media
The use of social media also affects one's perception of body shaming. Therefore, choose positive messages on social media, follow accounts that popularize the invitation to accept, respect, and love yourself.
Avoid accounts that emphasize the importance of physical appearance compared to other personal qualities. Especially those that do contain ridicule or jokes about a person's physical condition.
People who are ashamed of their body condition tend to hide and avoid appearing in public or interacting with people. This will certainly disrupt social life, even work productivity and achievement in school.
If you are a victim of body shaming, protect yourself with trust and pride in yourself. That way, ridicule from others will not hurt and make you become inferior. But if you can't overcome it yourself, try to consult with a psychologist.
Conversely, if you often do body shaming actions, even without you knowing it, stop this habit, because the negative impact is not only on others, but also on yourself.
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